he also describes himself as cisgender (gender matching body, because innate gender is the only thing that determines gender, therefore a dude's body is a dude's body no matter what it looks like). I like that.
I'm glad that this is his experience, but it's very much not mine. And I'll admit that I get a little frustrated/discouraged at the way this is held up to trans* people as the attitude we ought to have, as though somehow we're letting the side down otherwise. I want to change my body. It's my goddamn body, and getting an attitude from (some) other trans* people of "if you want to change your body it's because you're not well adjusted/don't have the right political attitude" that amounts to virtually the same thing as what one gets from unenlightened cis people ("how could you want to mutilate your body!") is really. not. helpful.
I don't mean this as an attack on your friend (whose relationship with his own body is none of my business) or on you. But, please be aware that your friend's experience is not everyone's, and some trans* people, including me, suffer a lot from dysphoria and the misery of being stuck in bodies that feel wrong to us. My calling my body parts by different names or pretending they're the shape that would feel right to me doesn't help. At all.
Re: It's cool if I'm actually too late to this party.
I'm glad that this is his experience, but it's very much not mine. And I'll admit that I get a little frustrated/discouraged at the way this is held up to trans* people as the attitude we ought to have, as though somehow we're letting the side down otherwise. I want to change my body. It's my goddamn body, and getting an attitude from (some) other trans* people of "if you want to change your body it's because you're not well adjusted/don't have the right political attitude" that amounts to virtually the same thing as what one gets from unenlightened cis people ("how could you want to mutilate your body!") is really. not. helpful.
I don't mean this as an attack on your friend (whose relationship with his own body is none of my business) or on you. But, please be aware that your friend's experience is not everyone's, and some trans* people, including me, suffer a lot from dysphoria and the misery of being stuck in bodies that feel wrong to us. My calling my body parts by different names or pretending they're the shape that would feel right to me doesn't help. At all.