I see it as a performative dance you have to do to get good care? I talk about gardening, I talk about pets, I talk about housework and chores. I don't enjoy it, but I need what they're offering.

I get that they would be uncomfortable with silence, and there is no polite way to ask if we could skip the conversation, so... you just do it? To get along?

I know lilacsigil flagged #3 as a racist microaggression for me, but I think that's eased off lately. And it's in no way comparable to what a non-white person has to go through.