and now, a poll

[kindkit]

Following on from my previous post, because now I'm beginning to wonder if what I think is my culture's view of adoption and birth mothers is not actually the case. The poll is as anonymous as I can make it, and anonymous comments are allowed.

Poll #18972

This poll is anonymous.
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: Just the Poll Creator, participants: 27

When a woman places her child up for adoption rather than raising the child herself, how is that predominantly viewed in your culture (not necessarily by you)?

Good! This is an excellent thing to do if she felt unable to raise the child herself.
11 (40.7%)

Neutral, neither good nor bad.
6 (22.2%)

Bad. She should have raised the child.
3 (11.1%)

Adoption is extremely rare or nonexistent in my culture.
2 (7.4%)

Other, which I may choose to elaborate on in the comments.
5 (18.5%)

Comments

[magnetic_pole]

I know quite a few people who either adopted children or were adopted themselves, and while it's not seen an an unequivocally good thing (especially the international and transracial adoptions), it's definitely part of life among folks I know (US, urban/suburban, middle and upper middle class). Part of the reason may be that I'm in academia, and many (of the wealthier) academics adopt in their 40s or even later, after tenure, and I'm gay, and so many other (better off) queer families I know adopted because they weren't able to reproduce the old fashioned way. (Children are especially expensive and highly prized in these circles.) And for various reasons I've also come to know a significant number of adoptees from China and Korea. Where people seem to place blame, adoptees included, they tend to blame systems and cultures rather than people. More recently, birth mothers are often known to the child and are sometimes a part of the child's life.

Interesting to read these responses! M.

[kindkit]

When I was in graduate school, one of my professors and his (male) partner adopted a child from Russia. They were of course overjoyed to have a child, but also very conscious of the problematic side.

Where people seem to place blame, adoptees included, they tend to blame systems and cultures rather than people

Which seems correct to me, but then, I was an academic too and trained to think that way. A lot of people, by no means all of them "uneducated" in the conventional sense, seem to dislike thinking systematically and prefer to blame individuals.