good and bad

[kindkit]

The bad: I work in a grocery store and I'm tired. And I want to punch every customer I see buying 10 cans of tuna and 20 cans of beans, or wearing goddamn gloves and then coughing into their hand in the checkout line, or who complains that we're out of stock of something or that we have new temporary policies like "no reusable containers."

I also am being constantly misgendered by customers and it's making me tired and furious and very, very depressed. The worst part is that I don't think they're doing it on purpose; that's why it's such a kick in the self-esteem. I literally do not know how I could present more masculine short of actually shaving my head, but I still get "ma'am" ALL THE FUCKING TIME. I'm binding, I'm in men's clothes as I have been for years, my hair is short and in a masculine cut, I wear no makeup or jewelry, and none of it does any goddamn good. Today, exhausted and stressed, I had to leave the sales floor and sit and cry a little. I wish this fucking testosterone would start having some visible fucking effects.

Dear cis people: you do not need to use gendered honorifics. It's usually pretty easy to avoid them! In particular, you do not need to use them on people who are clearly not presenting as the gender you have decided they are. Just stop. Stop. Stop.


The good: Not sick. Not unemployed.

Have acquired all the Mechanisms albums from Bandcamp. Last night I listened to their earliest one, Once Upon a Time . . . In Space, and enjoyed it. It's like the Decemberists at their most folksy/weird, only more so. I have a feeling I may like the later albums better, as OUaTIS feels very much like the work of a group finding its feet, but it was still full of Tragic Fun.

It's weird to hear Jonny sing. I know Jonny isn't Jon, of course, but it's still weird. Jon, I suspect, does not sing, even though his voice would be pretty good if he tried.


Okay, signing off now as my dinner is ready.

Comments

misgendering

[dialecticdreamer]

I am a cis person who gets misgendered all the FREAKING time. I got SIR starting in my twenties, and I have NEVER tried to present as masculine. I avoid pink, purple, flowers, and ruffles, but I do not consider myself any less 'feminine' for that. Yet, I have to deal with "Excuse me, sir," nearly every time I go shopping. I also loathe bus rides and standing in large groups, because both make it almost guaranteed that I'll have to deal with this at least once per trip.

Some.

People.

Are.

Just.

Clueless.

Frankly, if you're in a position to say, "Oh, I thought that you were talking to someone else beacause ClEARLY, I am not a 'ma'am'," I'd do it until your coworkers start speaking up for you, long before you have to deal with it.

In the meantime, I've had to make up a genderless honorific for a sci fi story I'm writing, and what I've figured out is that it's a programmed language pause. We need to fill it with something very similar in length and usage, but no one has made much headway with it other than "Yes, Chef," and "Yes, Boss," and neither applies because of the particular connotation of respect that goes with a social interaction in a retail store or restaurant (front).

[sovay]

It's like the Decemberists at their most folksy/weird, only more so.

I really enjoyed the far-future Norse retelling of The Bifrost Incident (2017).

I am sorry people don't know a better way of interacting without assumptions.

[vilakins]

I loathe gendered honorifics. I want to snap at people that no woman under 100 likes being called ma'am. I blame you Americans for this imported insult; we never used it before. Now service staff seem to be trained to use it. When it first started I used to say I didn't run a brothel but that was met with incomprehension, and now it's a losing battle. I also no longer get away with being misgendered, dammit, not since I grew boobs in my mid 20s.

Of course anything female-related devolves into an insult.

I have to say, I'm hugely relieved that English is pretty free of gender crap. I used verbs in Germany to get round the special nouns that indicated I was female (I program vs I am a programmer) because I hate them with a fiery passion. English speaker who use -ess mouns, fuck off. I can only imagine how hard it is in say Spanish to be transgender.

Anyway, stay safe! We have idiots panic-buying here but so far I think they're relatively civilised in this town. I've heard of fights and tasering in Australia (but only inter-hoarder)!

[radiantfracture]

That's a lot. Thank you for doing this hard job that has suddenly become bizarrely harder, and thanks for presenting as yourself in the world.

Will try out the Mechanisms.

[lilacsigil]

I feel you on the customer punching. Most people have been fine, if confused and worried, but then there's those special few. And stop sneaking up behind me, people! Maintain your distance!

[glinda]

Urgh. People are rubbish. I'm sorry you're having to deal with both those things at once.


Once Upon a Time in Space! :D :D :D It's my favourite of their albums. I really need to get round to listening to TMA so many folks I know are into it.

[mllesatine]

I'm sorry that the misgendering happens, especially since it's really not necessary to even use those honorifics. I blame the English language for not having a formal/informal pronoun and therefore relying on honorifics.

[silveradept]

Blergh. If only people would change their speech patterns so as to not rely on gendered assumptions.

[tree_and_leaf]

Stay safe - and I'm sorry about the misgendering.

[magnetic_pole]

Sorry to hear work has been so difficult. Everyone working in a public-facing position right now should be getting hazard pay.

And I'm so sorry to hear about the repeated misgendering. M.