![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
less than fun experiences
Aug. 15th, 2021 06:54 pmI went to Trader Joe's tonight after work, and my usual TJ's induced near-panic attack (about which more later) was not helped by a man near me removing his mask to cough repeatedly and horrendously into his hands. I wanted kick him while screaming about how masks work, and how his fucking cough had better just be allergies, or otherwise he was a fucking criminal for being out in public.
I did not, of course.
But then, while I continued to try to fight out off panic, I was greeted by someone who's a customer at the grocery store where I work. I detest him; he's an oily little liar who, for some reason, was not banned for unauthorized use of a staff member's employee discount. (Said staff member being his sister-in-law, who finally had to go around to every single cashier and tell them that he was not part of her household and was not allowed to use her discount.) Anyway, Oily Liar sees me and says hello (calling me by my name like I'm a pal; I can't remember his). I say hello in as neutrally-friendly a way as possible and walk on by. Then, a little later, he sidles up to me in the dairy section and says, "I didn't know you shopped here." As though I'm only allowed to shop at the store where I work. I said, "I shop everywhere," and walked away, not even out of intentional rudeness but because I was pretty close to losing it right there by the milk. But hopefully he takes the hint and never speaks to me again beyond a greeting.
Now I have that depleted, depressed feeling that comes in the aftermath of panic or near-panic. It happens to me almost every time I go to Trader Joe's. I keep wondering what it is about TJ's specifically. I have some theories:
1) Narrow aisles the make it always feel crowded.
2) Product crammed in so that people are always standing too close or reaching past me for something. I feel like I'm in everyone's way and it's upsetting. I'm not good with crowds even without COVID as a factor.
3) They move their stuff around all the damn time, so people can't find anything. Customers shop less efficiently, take longer, have to double back, and thus there's more crowding and reaching. And for me personally, having to hunt and double back is frustrating. I feel incompetent, which folds into the existing unpleasantness of crowds, etc.
4) Their products are always changing, so everyone's checking out the new stuff. Again, slower and less efficient shopping, more lingering, more crowding.
5) Also, it's just crowded. The few times I've managed a calm TJ's shop, it's been quite late when the store's almost empty.
6) And for me, there's a feedback loop where the more panicked I feel, the less I can concentrate, so I can't make up my mind, or can't find stuff, and feel incompetent and frustrated and like I need to be Somewhere Else Immediately, except I need to finish shopping.
You might ask why I still shop there. It's a pretty good question. They have a lot of stuff I like that isn't readily available elsewhere. But every time I'm there and feeling like I'm about to scream, I wonder if it's worth it.
I did not, of course.
But then, while I continued to try to fight out off panic, I was greeted by someone who's a customer at the grocery store where I work. I detest him; he's an oily little liar who, for some reason, was not banned for unauthorized use of a staff member's employee discount. (Said staff member being his sister-in-law, who finally had to go around to every single cashier and tell them that he was not part of her household and was not allowed to use her discount.) Anyway, Oily Liar sees me and says hello (calling me by my name like I'm a pal; I can't remember his). I say hello in as neutrally-friendly a way as possible and walk on by. Then, a little later, he sidles up to me in the dairy section and says, "I didn't know you shopped here." As though I'm only allowed to shop at the store where I work. I said, "I shop everywhere," and walked away, not even out of intentional rudeness but because I was pretty close to losing it right there by the milk. But hopefully he takes the hint and never speaks to me again beyond a greeting.
Now I have that depleted, depressed feeling that comes in the aftermath of panic or near-panic. It happens to me almost every time I go to Trader Joe's. I keep wondering what it is about TJ's specifically. I have some theories:
1) Narrow aisles the make it always feel crowded.
2) Product crammed in so that people are always standing too close or reaching past me for something. I feel like I'm in everyone's way and it's upsetting. I'm not good with crowds even without COVID as a factor.
3) They move their stuff around all the damn time, so people can't find anything. Customers shop less efficiently, take longer, have to double back, and thus there's more crowding and reaching. And for me personally, having to hunt and double back is frustrating. I feel incompetent, which folds into the existing unpleasantness of crowds, etc.
4) Their products are always changing, so everyone's checking out the new stuff. Again, slower and less efficient shopping, more lingering, more crowding.
5) Also, it's just crowded. The few times I've managed a calm TJ's shop, it's been quite late when the store's almost empty.
6) And for me, there's a feedback loop where the more panicked I feel, the less I can concentrate, so I can't make up my mind, or can't find stuff, and feel incompetent and frustrated and like I need to be Somewhere Else Immediately, except I need to finish shopping.
You might ask why I still shop there. It's a pretty good question. They have a lot of stuff I like that isn't readily available elsewhere. But every time I'm there and feeling like I'm about to scream, I wonder if it's worth it.
