rum, sodomy, and spreadsheets

[kindkit]

Wow, "spreadsheets" sounds really naughty when put into that kind of context. Which is apparently what it takes to make me learn how to create one. For some years I have diligently avoided acquiring this skill, but then I got the urge to keep track of every queer character in Patrick O'Brian's Aubrey and Maturin novels. After some wailing and gnashing of teeth (because Excel could not be more user-unfriendly unless it started punching the user in the face), I have a multivariable comparison that's confirming some of my theories about queerness in the Aubreyverse. It's not done yet, though (I'm only a little more than halfway through my re-read of all 20 books) so it'll be a while before I post more about it.

But I can say (unrelated to the spreadsheet, which only deals with characters O'Brian identifies as queer) that the re-read is going far to convince me that Stephen Maturin is at least a Kinsey 3, possibly 4 (3 = 50/50 bisexual, 4 = slight preference for the same sex). He notices beautiful men--somewhat more often than beautiful women, in fact, although to be fair he meets a lot more men than women. When he's attracted to a woman, it's often for qualities that are conventionally seen as masculine. And I don't just mean personality--where Jack admires a bosom, Stephen tends to admire boyish grace. To my amusement, descriptions of Diana Villiers' beauty very often include "boyish" or some similar term (Stephen admires "the boyish fluting of her neck" in The Fortune of War, for example).

So my new Theory of Stephen is that he's a fairly tightly repressed bisexual. His attraction to women is strong enough that he's able to avoid thinking too much about his attraction to men, and he can treat it as mere aesthetic appreciation. His close emotional connection to Jack Aubrey (who's not, I think, Stephen's physical type) also helps Stephen repress; since there's already a man he loves, his physical appreciation for other men never combines with emotional need.

This is all a bit frustrating to me as a m/m slash fan. Jack and Stephen's intense friendship ought to be ready-made for slash, but in truth I find it increasingly hard to ship them. They love each other deeply, and there is a kind of erotic tension between them that comes out when they play music, but there's plenty of evidence that they're not physically attracted to each other; the only way I can imagine their relationship becoming sexual is if somehow they're stuck alone together for a long time, such as in prison or on a desert island. And that could be interesting, because I think that level of closeness would ultimately be appealing for them both despite the lack of physical attraction as such, but it requires such a level of authorial contrivance that I find the scenario a little bit embarrassing to contemplate. (Not that it can't be made to work--I've read some very good Jack/Stephen stories, including a "stuck on a desert island" one.)

On the other hand, if Jack had been just a little more Stephen's type--slim, probably dark-haired, a little sharper-tongued and inclined to cruelty (because Stephen is such an emotional masochist)--Stephen might have spent years pining for him instead of Diana. A Jack who was like Diana wouldn't be Jack, of course. They have a surprisingly amount in common, such as the courage and indomitable spirit that Stephen loves in them both, but at bottom, Jack is a nice person and Diana is not. And unfortunately, I think it may be the case that Stephen can't feel romantic love for someone unless they hurt him.

ETA: It has just occurred to me that this description of the man Stephen would have pined for . . . is Horatio Hornblower. So, were they ever to meet, either they'd mortally insult one another and end up fighting a duel or Stephen would become hopelessly enamored. Or possibly both.

Comments

[damned_colonial]

omg, this is the best post ever. I love your shiny shiny brain beyond the telling of it, for developing a SPREADSHEET TO CALCULTATE STEPHEN'S KINSEY NUMBER OMG. I agree that he's a 4, fwiw, just based on my gut feeling and unscientific reading of the canon, and I completely concur with your comments on his relationship with Jack (though I've come to that point of view via a rather circuitous route, admittedly).

[damned_colonial]

PS you had better be sharing that spreadsheet when you're done! Or even beforehand -- if you put it on Google Spreadsheets, people could help you with the data collection! Just saying.

[kindkit]

Oh, I'll be posting about it, and posting the spreadsheet itself, eventually. But I want to finish it first, and since I'm re-reading the books anyway I want to do it myself.

So how did you come to conclude as you did about Jack and Stephen?

[kindkit]

Alas, the spreadsheet is just for keeping track of O'Brian's queer characters and what we know about them. My sense of Stephen's Kinsey number is, like yours, gut feeling. Although there could be a "Stephen's sexuality" spreadsheet, keeping track of every time he thinks of how Diana is as graceful as a midshipman, every time he notices Jagiello's pretty hair, every time he mentions that "paederasty" and "sodomy" are perfectly normal . . .

[starlady]

Excel is awful, but your spreadsheet sounds awesome.

I really need to restart reading these books.

[kindkit]

It seems to be characteristic of Excel's awfulness that (at least in the 2003 version that I have) its default setting is to not automatically word wrap text that you type into a cell, but instead to spill the text over into other cells. And the Help feature is so useless that I couldn't figure out how to fix it--I had to google around to find an online tutorial.

I'm really enjoying the re-read, although O'Brian is fond of certain set-pieces so there's a bit of repetition. I just enjoy the characters and skim through the duller bits.

[starlady]

I think the set-pieces are a rule of this kind of writing. If David Weber drops the gravity wave explanation into one more book I will seriously have to punch something.

I'm using Office 2008 for Macs, which is the equivalent of Office 2007 on PCs, and Excel still doesn't do the text wrap.

[linaelyn]

Here via Skud's pointer, and I must say, this is one of the most beautiful and accurate discussions of Stephen & Jack's relationship I have ever read. Could be that I'm coming at it as a slasher myself, and am wearing the same sort of slash-colored glasses you are. But the women and men that Stephen notices - yes! I think you've accurately nailed to sort of body and soul that he fancies as "his type."

Thank you. This made my day.

[kindkit]

Thank you!

I don't think one needs very slash-colored glasses to see Jack and Stephen's relationship as one that narrowly misses being a love affair. In one of the books--I forget which--Jack writes a letter to Sophie in which he says of Stephen "I love him more than anyone in the world except you." *melts*

I think you've accurately nailed to sort of body and soul that he fancies as "his type."

It occurred to me, reading your comment, that Stephen's "type" is pretty much Horatio Hornblower (thin, clever, emotionally distant, rather cruel). Now I wish someone would write an epic crossover. Especially as I think Jack and William Bush could be great friends. And since Stephen and Horatio couldn't work out their UST in music, Horatio being tone-deaf, they'd have to have sex!

[janetmiles]

(Here via damned_colonial)

I have actually never read any of the Aubrey/Maturin books; I was hooked by "using a spreadsheet to track characters". So this is a very tangential comment. Especially when you don't know me.

I am really sorry that Excel isn't comfortable for you. I have for years been claiming that it's the best thing ever to come out of Redmond, and that I love it far more than I do Word. Of course, I've been using spreadsheets (starting with Lotus 1-2-3, then Borland Quattro Pro, and finally Excel) for the better part of a quarter century.

Another haggis shortage averted, I guess.

And one of these days I will get around to the A/M books. At least half the people I know praise them highly.

[kindkit]

Hi!

I'm very willing to believe that Excel is an awesome program that's just not easy for a newbie to pick up. I've used spreadsheets a tiny bit on Google Docs, but never created one from scratch, and trying to figure out how to do simple-seeming things in Excel (like do word-wrap so that long text will stay inside the cell, except that it never occurred to me that it might be called "word wrap," so I couldn't find any instructions in Help about it) literally reduced me to tears. Once I found an Excel tutorial online things got much easier.

As for the Aubrey/Maturin books, I too praise them highly! They're not to everyone's taste, though. There's a leisurely quality to both the prose and the plotting, and O'Brian loves naval jargon (although much of it is skimmable, and what you actually need to understand you can figure out). But the characters are fascinating and sharply observed, and the books have a very distinct, witty voice. O'Brian is sometimes compared to Jane Austen, with good reason.

[resonant]

this description of the man Stephen would have pined for . . . is Horatio Hornblower.

YESPLZ!

[kindkit]

There's something terribly compelling about the idea. But oh, how Jack Aubrey would sulk. And Bush would be heartbroken!

[ell]

Me, I think the Jack he's secretly pining for is of the Sparrow variety...

[kindkit]

Well, there's probably no one Jack Sparrow couldn't seduce if he tried.

[ell]

That is a true statement :-)

[wychwood]

I love your analysis here! I hadn't noticed the particularly traits that Stephen admires, although Diana is of course vastly less "feminine" in social terms than Sophie, which is interesting.

But what you say about Jack and Stephen as a pairing works awesomely for me. I've never been able to slash them, but they're so close that it often seems ridiculous not to :) Anyway: I am going to stop burbling all over the place, but I really enjoyed this post. Thank you!

(Here via damned_colonial)

[kindkit]

I'm glad you liked it, thanks!

Diana is of course vastly less "feminine" in social terms than Sophie, which is interesting

I think it's no coincidence that Stephen's feeling for Sophie is fraternal from the very start, even though Sophie is described as more beautiful than Diana. (I love the Sophie-Stephen friendship a lot, so it makes me happy there's no UST between them.)

they're so close that it often seems ridiculous not to

*nods* And I think that closeness is part of what makes slashing them difficult. It's not as though they're denying or repressing how much they care for each other.

[tazlet]

Good insights. For a man of such keen observational and analytical skills when it comes to others, Stephen can be stupidly self-blind (witness his drug adictive tendencies).

[kindkit]

a man of such keen observational and analytical skills when it comes to others

Stephen has a strong introspective side, too, such as his diary-writing and his ongoing worry over the effects of intelligence work on his integrity. And yet, as you said, there are these huge areas of his personality that Stephen just isn't aware of. The ways he rationalizes his drug abuse (like how he can see Padeen is a "sad opium-eater," but is convinced that his own use is on the right side of the line) would be hilarious if it wasn't so distressing.

[axelrod]

I love this post. Esp the bit about Horatio at the end. Have some internet cookies.

omfg now I am yeeeeaarning for fanfic ...

(here via damned_colonial)

[kindkit]

Ooh, internet cookies, thanks! *grins*

[axelrod]

And comments are making me want to read all of the Aubrey and Maturin novels. Only read one so far. And possibly reread the Hornblower books ...

[kindkit]

They're very much worth reading, I think. I've been enjoying my re-read enormously.

[adrian_turtle]

I have long been convinced that Stephen pines for James Dillon so secretly he doesn't know it himself. That would seem to fit your model very well.

(A few years ago, I noticed publication dates and realized that O'Brian might well have been writing Star Trek fanfic. Nobody would have recognized it as such, in 1970, with the serial numbers filed off that well.)

[kindkit]

Stephen pines for James Dillon so secretly he doesn't know it himself.

I like that idea! It makes sense of how strongly Stephen is affected at seeing him again (of course they were revolutionary comrades, but Stephen's reaction seems more primal than that somehow) and how obsessed Stephen is throughout the book with figuring out what Dillon is feeling. And he still thinks of Dillon years later--there's a mention in one of the later books, although I can't recall which one now.