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good and bad
Mar. 20th, 2020 07:38 pmThe bad: I work in a grocery store and I'm tired. And I want to punch every customer I see buying 10 cans of tuna and 20 cans of beans, or wearing goddamn gloves and then coughing into their hand in the checkout line, or who complains that we're out of stock of something or that we have new temporary policies like "no reusable containers."
I also am being constantly misgendered by customers and it's making me tired and furious and very, very depressed. The worst part is that I don't think they're doing it on purpose; that's why it's such a kick in the self-esteem. I literally do not know how I could present more masculine short of actually shaving my head, but I still get "ma'am" ALL THE FUCKING TIME. I'm binding, I'm in men's clothes as I have been for years, my hair is short and in a masculine cut, I wear no makeup or jewelry, and none of it does any goddamn good. Today, exhausted and stressed, I had to leave the sales floor and sit and cry a little. I wish this fucking testosterone would start having some visible fucking effects.
Dear cis people: you do not need to use gendered honorifics. It's usually pretty easy to avoid them! In particular, you do not need to use them on people who are clearly not presenting as the gender you have decided they are. Just stop. Stop. Stop.
The good: Not sick. Not unemployed.
Have acquired all the Mechanisms albums from Bandcamp. Last night I listened to their earliest one, Once Upon a Time . . . In Space, and enjoyed it. It's like the Decemberists at their most folksy/weird, only more so. I have a feeling I may like the later albums better, as OUaTIS feels very much like the work of a group finding its feet, but it was still full of Tragic Fun.
It's weird to hear Jonny sing. I know Jonny isn't Jon, of course, but it's still weird. Jon, I suspect, does not sing, even though his voice would be pretty good if he tried.
Okay, signing off now as my dinner is ready.
I also am being constantly misgendered by customers and it's making me tired and furious and very, very depressed. The worst part is that I don't think they're doing it on purpose; that's why it's such a kick in the self-esteem. I literally do not know how I could present more masculine short of actually shaving my head, but I still get "ma'am" ALL THE FUCKING TIME. I'm binding, I'm in men's clothes as I have been for years, my hair is short and in a masculine cut, I wear no makeup or jewelry, and none of it does any goddamn good. Today, exhausted and stressed, I had to leave the sales floor and sit and cry a little. I wish this fucking testosterone would start having some visible fucking effects.
Dear cis people: you do not need to use gendered honorifics. It's usually pretty easy to avoid them! In particular, you do not need to use them on people who are clearly not presenting as the gender you have decided they are. Just stop. Stop. Stop.
The good: Not sick. Not unemployed.
Have acquired all the Mechanisms albums from Bandcamp. Last night I listened to their earliest one, Once Upon a Time . . . In Space, and enjoyed it. It's like the Decemberists at their most folksy/weird, only more so. I have a feeling I may like the later albums better, as OUaTIS feels very much like the work of a group finding its feet, but it was still full of Tragic Fun.
It's weird to hear Jonny sing. I know Jonny isn't Jon, of course, but it's still weird. Jon, I suspect, does not sing, even though his voice would be pretty good if he tried.
Okay, signing off now as my dinner is ready.
