If Harold is confused about his sexuality, or uncomfortable with it (and this doesn't require reading him as exclusively gay), he might also enjoy the feeling of "normality" in another sense. He's certainly old enough to have absorbed the idea that queerness is a sign of maladjustment and immaturity, and while I'm sure he'd reject that intellectually, he could still feel it.
Tying this in to what you've said, he could feel that the nice calm affection and sense of stability/control he feels with Grace are the rewards of heterosexuality: real grown-up normal heterosexual love doesn't hurt, it isn't extreme, it's calm and decorous. Obviously this is preferable to the abnormal love he felt for Nathan and is scared of feeling for Reese, with its humiliating, overwhelming emotions and its dreadful feeling of vulnerability.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
Re: 2x08, "Til Death"
Date: 2014-04-03 04:28 pm (UTC)Tying this in to what you've said, he could feel that the nice calm affection and sense of stability/control he feels with Grace are the rewards of heterosexuality: real grown-up normal heterosexual love doesn't hurt, it isn't extreme, it's calm and decorous. Obviously this is preferable to the abnormal love he felt for Nathan and is scared of feeling for Reese, with its humiliating, overwhelming emotions and its dreadful feeling of vulnerability.