advise me, internet people!

[kindkit]

So, I'm thinking seriously about getting a cat. I love cats and I've wanted one for ages and ages, but my life and especially my finances never seemed stable enough. They still don't, but I will have some money coming in because of stuff to do with my old job, and I would be able to afford the adoption fees, the nonrefundable pet "deposit" my apartment complex demands, and all the equipment I'd need.

But I have doubts. Or at least I have a great ability to worry and consequently, a lousy ability to make decisions. What if I get the cat home and then I don't like it? What if it does something horrible like pee everywhere? What if it climbs up on everything and breaks all my stuff? What if it gets sick and I'm stuck with enormous vet bills I can't afford? What if my apartment (an efficiency) is too small and the cat feels caged up and bored? (It's not too small for me, but then, I get to leave.)

What should I doooooooooooo?

I should note that I specifically want to get an adult cat, not a kitten, and that I'll be looking for one with a fairly mellow personality who's used to being an indoor cat. I'm hoping that will help with the getting restless and climbing and breaking everything issues.

All advice welcome. I'm particularly worried about peeing/spraying. How common are these problems? Do neutered male cats mostly not spray, or should I only consider female cats?

And the real deepest worry: is it ethical to get an animal even though, if it gets, say, cancer, I wouldn't be able to afford kitty chemo and I'd have to have it put to sleep?

Damn it, I've made myself cry. This is why I need advice from people who are not as anxiety-ridden and prone to think of worst case scenarios as I am.

Comments

[likeadeuce]

Taking on a pet is stressful, I get that.

I don't know what kind of rescue/ adoption arrangements you have to work with but you may be able to find one that will let you foster an animal for a while before you decide if it's a good fit.

[cathexys]

Your post is weirdly appropriate. We had a cat come up to our house yesterday, basically walking in out of the cold and are now deciding whether to keep him. Our concerns are different, how will he get along with our other cat, it looks like my allergies may be acting up with him, what will we do if we visit my family and need someone to look after two cats...but in the end, the alternative is to put the little dude out into the freezing cold.

I think your thoughts are all relevant and important, but in the end, the option isn't between a happy chemo affording home and you but more likely nothing and you. You will love them in all their weirdness and loveliness, and they will love you and the apartment, because they won't know/remember anything else. Of course, cats aren't like dogs in their infinite devotion, but they're also usually much more low maintenance.

Now, that being said, I've never had an inside cat, but I'm sure any shelter you go to can set you up with a cat that fits your abilities and needs. And if they're spayed/neutered and healthy, the expenses aren't that immense.

All that being said, your worries are not negligible. I can't speak to you changing your mind. But you might just go to the shelter and meet the cats. We weirdly fall in love, and while the flowcharts of doom may not disappear, they may seem less relevant in the face of your kittie!!!

[sage]

Re spraying, this is usually only a problem in male cats, particularly those with health issues. Litter box fail is basically diagnostic criteria for illness, although narrowing down WHICH illness is a total pain. (Also re cancer specifically, there's a whole tier of palliative care for people who can't afford expensive treatment. It's what I did with my boys at the end, to ease the pain and increase their appetites for a few months until time came when they were clearly done.)

Efficiencies are so small. You wouldn't be able to hide the inevitable, pervasive stink of a litter box in the guest bathroom. Mellow adult cats who are used to being home alone all day are likely your best bet, but, well, tbh, I think a lot depends on just how small your apartment is. What are you going to do at 2am when your usually mellow kitty does 30 minutes of nocturnal windsprints? Being able to shut a bedroom door between you and the furry monster can be priceless. Also, can you reasonably cat-proof your apartment? They can and will knock over and shatter every possible knickknack (one of mine broke 80% of my glasses by swiping them off my nightstand to wake me up).

Another thing, think of this as a 15 year commitment. It's allowing another living being to be totally dependent on you for their life and well-being. If you fall in love with a cat, it becomes your family, and your life decisions need to account for its needs, too. Which isn't a problem, really, if you don't travel much and the cat likes you. It's just something to consider if you're planning for the long-term.

[lilacsigil]

Adopting an adult cat has removed most of your problems in advance: you can choose a cat who is sedate and happy indoors, doesn't spray, and is happy as a solo cat. It is also much less likely to need vet care for injuries or illness caused by other animals outside, and cat rescues often have a link with a local vet. Also, rescues will often let you foster a cat before deciding.

We have one very nervous cat (Baggins) who does sometimes pee outside the litterbox, and before that we had one developmentally delayed cat (Ajax) who did the same. This was not good, but in both cases we adopted them as kittens, and that's the risk you take with kittens. Our late cat Aeon did accidentally pee a few times in her last few weeks, but she was very ill by then. Chewie never sprays or pees outside the box, ever.

I think it is ethical to take in an animal if you give it the best care you can: a small "kitty budget" to take care of the likely things like worming, occasional tooth cleaning as it gets older or medication in case of a problem with an elderly kitty. I think LJ/DW is a bit of an outlier for pet care, because most people will put down a seriously ill cat rather than go the full treatment (personally I am deeply unconvinced about the ethics of cat chemo for the vast majority of animals). Then again, we kept our cat alive for 7.5 years at the cost of about $30/month in medication and $350 in tooth cleaning every second year, so I shouldn't talk! But we were not willing to try things like a cat kidney transplant or jaw surgery, because that would have been more for us than for her.

[vilakins]

Getting an adult cat is an excellent idea as you wouldn't have to train it. Sometimes cats pee or spray with they're stressed, but then that's often because of conflict with other cats; one won't have territory issues and will be the only one using the litter.

I'm sure the shelter will advise on a cat which will suit you - but then again a cat may choose you. In my experience, rescued cats are grateful and loving. Although I adopted teenagers (7-8 months old) I never really had a problem with them knocking things over and breaking them, and an older cat should be even better.

And yes, they're excellent company. :-)

[st_aurafina]

Pretty much what everyone else said?

Random thoughts: you might have to clean up cat puke from time to time so if you have carpet think about the kibble you feed (ours is renal-safe but stains luminous yellow), a claw clipper is a good investment and so is a proper carrier. You will probably buy more cat toys than you ever need because really a screwed up ball of foil is a fantastic cat toy. Getting an older cat is probably the best idea ever because they can tailor personality to your living arrangements and fostering first is a great idea.

KITTY!!

[tree_and_leaf]

To be honest, I'm not sure that the kitty chemo question is ethically clear cut in either direction. It's not like you can explain to a cat why it's suffering what can be quite serious and debilitating side effects.

[laurajv]

When our 18 yr old kitty got sick, we looked up the stats for cats given chemo for lymphoma, and they weren't great. He might get a few more months of life out of it, maybe. My feeling, coming away from looking at those stats, was that chemo for cats is mostly there to help humans feel they've done all they could, not for the cats. :/