purple hair, purple hair

[kindkit]

In honor of being called "creepy" by a transphobe on Twitter, I'm putting some purple streaks in my hair. (Manic Panic Ultra Violet.)

This is a thing I've wanted to do for ages. But first I was trying to be taken seriously as An Actual Professional Scholar, and then I was unemployed, and then I was in a job that wouldn't allow it, and then I was trying to be taken seriously as a Trans Man.

And then I said, "fuck it."

I blame Rusty Quill for this, as for many of my decisions lately. Anil's painted nails, and Jonny's occasionally painted nails, and Mike's rainbow hair (now blue), and . . . it was all a reminder of something I've always believed but that hasn't always come through in my behaviour. Namely, conventional masculinity is stupid and constricting, and nobody should have to do it.

Painted nails may be next (they might have been first, but pre-pandemic, part of my job involved preparing food, and painted nails aren't really allowed). I want to go to an actual store, though, and see the colors. Something blue or purple or silver.

Besides Rusty Quill, the other factor is that I'm finally starting to get some facial hair. Shaving has become something I do every few days to avoid looking scruffy, rather than every two weeks out of wishful thinking. (Eventually there will be a beard, I hope. But I'm a long way from having enough facial hair for that yet!) Now that my body is cooperating with my gender a bit, I feel more free. Which is good.

Comments

[batdina]

I entirely support this. Not that you need my support, but I'm just saying...

[kindkit]

Support is always welcome! And helpful, because people who are anti-trans (and I include in that category people who say they're pro-trans, but have very strict rules about how trans people should express their gender) are vocal, so it's easy to feel discouraged.

[batdina]

In other news: between you and rydra, I'm about to start listening to TMA. I'm diving down a rabbit hole, aren't I?

[kindkit]

Yes, but it's a rabbit hole filled with joy! (And also terror etc. But honestly, I love almost every single thing about the show. And the folks who make it seem to be good people who are trying to do good things, both artistically and in the world. And, while I'm only on the fringes of the fandom, I haven't noticed any giant swathes of toxicity.)

[rydra_wong]

Yes, but it's a rabbit hole filled with joy! (And also terror etc.

Fervently seconded. Also, reports from new people listening bring much joy to people already caught up.

(Joy and occasional writhing in silent torment so as not to spoil anything.)

[vilakins]

Awesome! I would love to see a photo.

I've wanted a mix of blue and purple hair for a while now but I'm not striking / unusual / interesting enough to carry it off.

[vilakins]

I should add, having seen that photo of you, you will rock it! If I looked half as good, I'd so go for it.

[kindkit]

Belated, but: I think you should do what you want. Blue hair is its own justification.

[vilakins]

The salons are open again here - we're back to normal, just with strict border controls - and I finally got a haircut today. I chatted with the hairdresser about blue and purple, and she said I could try a wash-out colour called Evo Fabuloso at home, but it would only show on my blonde streaks. My hair is brown and copper otherwise (a bit darker right now than this icon) so purple might look really good. Or turquoise. I love turquoise.

If I wasn't shortish (a bit below average for here) and dumpy, I've love to do something really outrageous, but if I coloured the streaks, that might work be a start. I might get some to try. They can make up any colour and intensity to use at home. :-)

[vilakins]

Googling Evo Fabuloso just brings up their boring natural coloured conditioners, but the colours I meant are Evo Fabuloso Pro, take-home toner which might only show on my blond streaks and isn't permanent, but cool to experiment with! Turquoise, purple, probable fairly pale, but a start!

OTOH Evo Staino, developed in Australia, looks bloody amazing! Intense vibrant permanent colours showing even over dark hair. Maybe one day...

[sovay]

And then I said, "fuck it."

If there are photographs, I look forward to your fuck-it purple hair, and if there are not photographs, I still think that's excellent.

[rydra_wong]

Congrats on your facial hair! \o/

And yay for feeling more free!

ETA: also fuck transphobes.

P.S.

[rydra_wong]

Now that my body is cooperating with my gender a bit, I feel more free. Which is good.

Coming from a different place (id-ing as female and gender-non-conforming), but there's a thing I've experienced which in my case I mentally refer to as "the conservation of androgyny".

When I started having visible muscle mass from climbing, I got more comfortable wearing some "feminine" colours or "feminine"-styled clothing, because it meant I could do so without tipping into overall looking "feminine" in a way that feels screamingly uncomfortable for me. I could vary things up and still stay at a point on the spectrum of gender expression that feels like me.

So yeah, I'm somewhat familiar with changes in one's body giving one more scope to play around and still have a gender presentation that feels right.

Anyway, yay for men in nail polish. I hope you find some colours you like!

Re: P.S.

[rydra_wong]

I want to go to an actual store, though, and see the colors. Something blue or purple or silver.

Because it sounds like our aesthetic may be somewhat similar in this respect: I commend to your attention getting a matte top-coat to have as an option. You can use it to make any colour matte and it's an interesting way to modulate the effect.

Re: P.S.

[kindkit]

Thanks for the tip. I'm pretty ignorant about most of this stuff--even when I was trying hard to perform femininity (and thus wore makeup every day) I never bothered to learn about it. I suppose it was internal resistance. But I don't need that anymore; I can think of things like nail color and hair color as self-expression rather than self-repression. Which is nice.

Re: P.S.

[rydra_wong]

I'm pretty ignorant about most of this stuff

Oh god, me too. Cannot do face make-up at all, for reasons both sensory and feeling it's screamingly not-me.

But there are a few things (like nail varnish) where I've been able to get into it as "interesting colours", once I found out that it could be done in ways that have nothing to do with performing femininity.

(Ironically, my normal climbing schedule means it only ever lasts a day or two before being chipped to shit. There are some folk who can climb without fucking up their nail polish; I am not one of them.)

Anyway, sometimes matte top-coat works for me as a way of modulating the effect of a colour so it's not shiny-pretty, if that makes sense. Sometimes I'm good with shiny, sometimes not.

Re: P.S.

[rydra_wong]

A good thing yesterday: weekly Family Zoom featured my nearly-7-year-old nephew proudly showing off his nail polish (pale blue or pale green, hard to tell on Zoom).

He also proudly showed us his scrape from "getting his arm stuck inside a log", so I think he's living all facets of his best life right now.

We were all suitably admiring of both nail polish and scrape.

Re: P.S.

[kindkit]

That definitely sounds like a kid's best life. Go him!

Re: P.S.

[kindkit]

By the way, Jonny has very good nails in today's Arkham stream. (It's on the Macguffin and Co. channel, if I remember right, because they're trying to do enough streams to reach Twitch affiliate status).

Maybe he's born with it, maybe it's Maybelline (it's Maybelline)

[rydra_wong]

AND he chose the colour because the name fit the noir vibe (I approve so much of this level of nerdery), AND then he had to sit there waiting for his nails to dry, gazing sadly at his un-openable cold beer. Marvellous.

I'm also delighted that Sasha has a sword.

Re: Maybe he's born with it, maybe it's Maybelline (it's Maybelline)

[kindkit]

I think I missed that bit, oh no! I'll have to see if it's on the VOD.

Chat seemed to be very much in favor of Sasha having even more swords. I know I am.

Re: Maybe he's born with it, maybe it's Maybelline (it's Maybelline)

[rydra_wong]

I think I missed that bit, oh no! I'll have to see if it's on the VOD.

Yes, that's where I found it after your mention, thank you -- the nail explanation and mournful beer-gazing is in the first of the two recent Arkham ones:

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/659468847

[lilacsigil]

Enjoy the purple!

[schneefink]

Yay for feeling more comfortable! Purple streaks sound great, and I hope you find great nail polish. I started painting my nails while I was working from home and really enjoy it, especially the glitter.

[cyprinella]

This reminded me I need to buy more pink dye but booooo, my color is sold out!

I'm so glad you're able to feel more comfortable. And congrats on the activated follicles!

[shewhostaples]

Ugh at transphobes; hurrah for purple hair!

[silveradept]

Purple is an excellent color for hair, and very professional.

[rydra_wong]

ALEX:

https://twitter.com/AlexanderNewall/status/1270237738684555265
https://twitter.com/AlexanderNewall/status/1270242722377580544