But, honestly, despite complaining about it, I'm very much enjoying writing it. I seem to have managed to turn off my inner critic, which is letting me write in an exploratory way instead of worrying too much about whether it's Good Craft or not. Craft can come back at the editing stage.
But also, I think my long time away from writing has shifted my thinking about what fanfic is for. For years, a big part of what stalled my writing was feeling like a story wasn't worth it unless it had something Important to say about the source text that nobody else had said before. Which hasn't gone away entirely, but for now I seem to be able to sidestep it and say to myself, "This is for me, and for people who love the same things I do and will hopefully be interested in the ideas I want to play around with." So it doesn't matter so much if the story isn't thematically tight and the characters have unexpectedly decided to lie in bed and talk about their sexual histories. (Also, I suspect that "thematically tight" turns into "repetitive and boring" at around 10,000 words.)
I'd still never knowingly write badfic, but I'm less afraid of being self-indulgent, is I guess what it comes down to. Luckily I don't enjoy most of the cliches that make up badfic so I'm not super tempted to indulge them anyway.
That was probably more than you wanted to know! Sorry--I just can't help reflecting on the very fast shift from "not writing at all" to "words are pouring out."
That was not more than I minded knowing! I am so glad you have managed to detach your inner critic from your actual writer and are writing what you enjoy.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2022-05-28 03:35 am (UTC)Congratulations on your impending novel.
no subject
Date: 2022-05-29 02:41 am (UTC)But, honestly, despite complaining about it, I'm very much enjoying writing it. I seem to have managed to turn off my inner critic, which is letting me write in an exploratory way instead of worrying too much about whether it's Good Craft or not. Craft can come back at the editing stage.
But also, I think my long time away from writing has shifted my thinking about what fanfic is for. For years, a big part of what stalled my writing was feeling like a story wasn't worth it unless it had something Important to say about the source text that nobody else had said before. Which hasn't gone away entirely, but for now I seem to be able to sidestep it and say to myself, "This is for me, and for people who love the same things I do and will hopefully be interested in the ideas I want to play around with." So it doesn't matter so much if the story isn't thematically tight and the characters have unexpectedly decided to lie in bed and talk about their sexual histories. (Also, I suspect that "thematically tight" turns into "repetitive and boring" at around 10,000 words.)
I'd still never knowingly write badfic, but I'm less afraid of being self-indulgent, is I guess what it comes down to. Luckily I don't enjoy most of the cliches that make up badfic so I'm not super tempted to indulge them anyway.
That was probably more than you wanted to know! Sorry--I just can't help reflecting on the very fast shift from "not writing at all" to "words are pouring out."
no subject
Date: 2022-05-29 04:36 am (UTC)That was not more than I minded knowing! I am so glad you have managed to detach your inner critic from your actual writer and are writing what you enjoy.