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kindkitI'm making my third attempt to read Dorothy L. Sayers's The Five Red Herrings, which is not only by far the weakest of the Wimsey novels but is damn near unreadable. If I have to struggle through another chapter of railways timetables and missing bicycles, I swear I'm going to invent a time machine just so I can go back to 1930 and hit Sayers with a stick.
It does, however, contain this gem of 24-karat WTF-ery from Bunter (cut because it relates to a clue):
The appalling Orientalist fantasy that sprang fully-formed into my mind? The one that's about Bunter's adolescence as a sheikh's dancing boy and sex slave? It's Dorothy L. Sayers's fault entirely.
But seriously, when the hell could this have happened? Bunter was a servant in England, then he was a soldier on the western front during the war, then he went back to England to become Peter's man. When exactly did he find the opportunity to take-up this beard-stroking hobby? (ETA: And how did he go about it? Did he go up to random strangers and say, "Excuse me, sir, do you mind if I stroke your beard?" And if so, how did he not get arrested?)
FIC NOW PLZ. Preferably less tacky and clichéd, and above all less racist, than my Orientalist fantasy.
It does, however, contain this gem of 24-karat WTF-ery from Bunter (cut because it relates to a clue):
[O]n several occasions I had the opportunity to examine the beard of a person belonging to the Mohammedan persuasion. You are doubtless aware, my lord, that the strict followers of this sect consider it unlawful to trim the hair of the face, with the consequence that the beard is extremely silky in texture, each hair preserving the natural tapering point.Bunter went around stroking Muslim men's beards. Allow me to repeat that: Bunter WENT AROUND STROKING MUSLIM MEN'S BEARDS. Yes he did. How could he know that they were silky otherwise?
The appalling Orientalist fantasy that sprang fully-formed into my mind? The one that's about Bunter's adolescence as a sheikh's dancing boy and sex slave? It's Dorothy L. Sayers's fault entirely.
But seriously, when the hell could this have happened? Bunter was a servant in England, then he was a soldier on the western front during the war, then he went back to England to become Peter's man. When exactly did he find the opportunity to take-up this beard-stroking hobby? (ETA: And how did he go about it? Did he go up to random strangers and say, "Excuse me, sir, do you mind if I stroke your beard?" And if so, how did he not get arrested?)
FIC NOW PLZ. Preferably less tacky and clichéd, and above all less racist, than my Orientalist fantasy.
