
I'm tentatively planning to go to my local Pride festival on Saturday. I've never been to Pride before, for a couple of reasons. One is that I would've felt like a tourist--until the last few months when I finally accepted that I'm trans, I couldn't really define what stake I had in the LGBT community. I didn't want to appropriate other people's identities or behave as though LGBT people were there for my amusement (like those bridal shower parties who go to gay men's clubs to ogle the guys).
I feel differently about all that this year, of course. But the other reason is still valid: I hate crowds. When I'm in a crowd, I want to get away; sometimes I get panicky and need to leave RIGHT NOW.
And yet I do want to go. For one thing, I'm hoping to connect with the local trans* community. Googling has found me nothing but two defunct websites and a trans* community health project which is a great thing but not what I'm looking for. Pride seems like the obvious place to find information. Plus, I just . . . want to go. Want to be at a queer event and feel like part of a community.
I'm planning to go early on Saturday, which with luck will help me avoid the worst crowding (the big day is Sunday, when the parade happens). Unfortunately transportation is going to be a pain in the ass. Pride is held downtown, and it'll be impossible to park anywhere nearby, but getting there on the bus will take an hour and fifteen minutes each way. *grumbles* It's going to be a lot of hassle, and given my crowd issues I probably won't stay very long. And yet I do want to go.