pride, maybe

[kindkit]

I'm tentatively planning to go to my local Pride festival on Saturday. I've never been to Pride before, for a couple of reasons. One is that I would've felt like a tourist--until the last few months when I finally accepted that I'm trans, I couldn't really define what stake I had in the LGBT community. I didn't want to appropriate other people's identities or behave as though LGBT people were there for my amusement (like those bridal shower parties who go to gay men's clubs to ogle the guys).

I feel differently about all that this year, of course. But the other reason is still valid: I hate crowds. When I'm in a crowd, I want to get away; sometimes I get panicky and need to leave RIGHT NOW.

And yet I do want to go. For one thing, I'm hoping to connect with the local trans* community. Googling has found me nothing but two defunct websites and a trans* community health project which is a great thing but not what I'm looking for. Pride seems like the obvious place to find information. Plus, I just . . . want to go. Want to be at a queer event and feel like part of a community.

I'm planning to go early on Saturday, which with luck will help me avoid the worst crowding (the big day is Sunday, when the parade happens). Unfortunately transportation is going to be a pain in the ass. Pride is held downtown, and it'll be impossible to park anywhere nearby, but getting there on the bus will take an hour and fifteen minutes each way. *grumbles* It's going to be a lot of hassle, and given my crowd issues I probably won't stay very long. And yet I do want to go.

Comments

[scy]

I know, I am trying to decide if I will be going - of course navigating buses, etc and getting to downtown Seattle on Saturday will be a MESS. *sighs*

But, I WANT to go.

[kindkit]

The transportation problems are so frustrating. I understand the reasoning behind holding Pride events downtown, but it's pretty inconvenient for most people. At least I'm not coming from the distant suburbs or something.

It'll be worth it though, right?

[scy]

Yeah. It's just hard to get to Pride when it's downtown, as you say, although I know it's convenient in other ways.

And I have a test to study for and homework, so I am not sure I should go for that reason. *frowns*

[damned_colonial]

I'm going to the SF trans march tomorrow night, for the first time... the last couple of years, I've felt kind of generally supportive but not sure whether it was right for me to be there. This year I think it's right for me.

I'm so with you re: crowds. A friend of mine asked if I wanted to go watch the main pride parade, and I was like "meh" but I do want to hang out with that friend... then she followed up and said she couldn't after all and I was a little relieved to be off the hook, to be honest.

[kindkit]

I thought about going to the parade. I thought about it for at least ten seconds! Because I would love to watch it, but going would be a terrible idea. If only I were rich and had a downtown apartment with a rooftop patio, where I could watch in comfort with a small group of friends . . . or if only I were an extrovert who had fun in crowds.

[hagsrus]

Where are you located? I could check if there's anything useful in my database.

[kindkit]

Oh, thanks! I'm in Minneapolis.

[hagsrus]

It does seem to be a bit scanty. Tmen.net looks as if it was abandoned in 2009.

Perhaps contact Lavender Magazine www.lavendermagazine.com in case they know of anything?

[sineala]

I vote for going; every Pride I've ever been to has been awesome and definitely with the queer-community feel, and I would imagine that alone would be reassuring even if you can only stay for a bit.

We already had Pride here -- for some reason, my town holds it at the beginning of May -- where it is a nice, small, family-friendly event with children and dogs and lots of church groups and earnest folksingers. (No, really, it's cute.)

I've been to the SF parade a few times, and that thing is *massive*. (And, luckily, easily reachable by BART.) I actually marched in the SF parade once, with one of my friends' churches (I am not a Unitarian, but they are very welcoming) and, man, that was a rush, and probably one of the more fun things I've ever done (and I say this as a huge introvert with anxiety problems). It's really an experience of the queer community, all right. Whoo.

[kindkit]

Coooooooool. And if I time it right, I should still be home in time for the Doctor Who finale! (Priorities: I can has them.)

[executrix]

I wouldn't be at all surprised if the local transmen are thinking, oh blargh, Pride would be really great if there were more people marching and hanging with us. Maybe if you phone the health project they can put you in touch with the right Facebook pages or tweets--it's not-unlikely that, e.g., Frank has posted "I've got room for three more in my car".

[kindkit]

All of which is perfectly reasonable but requires more assertiveness than I can muster right now. Calling, for instance, is never all that easy for me, and even less so in a trans* context because my voice sounds so female. I think I need to just go on my own, uncommitted as it were, and see what I can manage.

[executrix]

All you can do is all you can do...still, you have something going for you that most people don't. I mean, transmen who are at further stages on the journey have probably encountered a lot of people who subject them to various kinds of negativity BECAUSE they are transmen.

You, on the other hand, think they are awesome for the very same reason. It's usually more enjoyable to spend time with people who view you as a wise elder who has vital information to impart than with people who think you suck.

And every transman who NOW has a bass voice, a hot male body, a passport and driver's license with the "M" box checked, and a terrific bf/gf/lots of partners to taste used to have a female-sounding voice, so he can probably remember what it was like...