kindkit | a little mild boasting makes a post (or, Bake Off is taking over my life)

Today I baked Paul Hollywood's Eight Strand Plaited Loaf. It was both more and less difficult than I expected. The dough is somewhat sticky--I did the math just now and it has a 68% hydration, which is quite high for a dough you're going to braid--and this ruined my first attempt at braiding because all the strands stuck together. So I rolled it back into a ball, kneaded it with a bit of flour until it was less sticky, then managed the braid on the second attempt.

Weirdly, the plaiting sequence on the BBC website that I linked to is different from the one Paul uses in the Masterclass episode, which is:

1) 8 under 7 over 1
2) 2 under 3 over 8
3) 1 over 4
4) 7 under 6 over 1
5) 8 over 5
6) repeat steps 2-5 until you run out of dough

The Masterclass sequence is the one I used on my second, successful, attempt, but other folks online seem to have used the website sequence successfully. Anyway, provided you have the sequence written down, that part is actually quite easy. I can't say my bread is picture-perfect (for one thing, even though I weighed the eight portions of dough to make sure they were equal, it's still hard to roll them all out to exactly the same length and thickness) but it looks rather nice.

My tips for anyone else weird enough to want to try this: maybe use a little less water than the recipe calls for and roll the dough balls in just a little flour, just enough to make sure the surface isn't sticky, before you shape them into strands. And once you have your eight strands, chill them in the fridge for a few minutes before braiding them. It makes them less sticky and also less elastic.

If I make this again, and I probably will (if only to bring a loaf to work around Thanksgiving and impress everybody), I think I'll use about half again as much dough. I think in the Masterclass Paul was using a larger amount of dough, because his strands were much plumper than mine despite looking considerably longer than sixteen inches. Basically I'd like the bread to have more height.

Also, well, I'd probably use an entirely different dough. The bread looks cool but the taste is as insipid as you'd expect from an all-white-flour dough with such a short proofing time. The obvious change would be to make a brioche dough, but I'm not a huge fan of brioche either. It's too much like cake and not enough like bread. I'd rather use a fairly lean dough that's fermented overnight, and that maybe has some whole wheat flour or even some rye flour in it.

I'd also meant to make a cake today (coffee and walnut, topped with some caramel-dipped walnuts), but the bread took longer than expected. Plus, I failed in my attempt to make caramel for the walnuts, which was a bit disheartening. Next time I will take more seriously all those warnings about how easily caramel crystallizes.

I still haven't made the lemon cake with lemon curd, either, because even a half recipe requires eight eggs and every time I have the time and inclination to make it, it turns out I don't have enough eggs. And I can never bring myself to make a special trip to the supermarket just to buy them.

In news which will probably surprise none of you as much as it surprised me, I seem to have developed a crush on Paul Hollywood. Why, libido, why? Even the truly frightening color that too many hours on the tanning bed have given his face is no deterrent. I don't normally go for big men, either.

I have a little crush on Mary Berry, too, but of a very different kind. I'd like to imagine her as a slightly intimidating but favorite aunt, the sort who doles out good, sensible yet quietly daring life advice along with tea, G&T, and cake.

And now I must away to bed. Did I mention that my workday now starts at 6 am?