and now, a poll

[kindkit]

Following on from my previous post, because now I'm beginning to wonder if what I think is my culture's view of adoption and birth mothers is not actually the case. The poll is as anonymous as I can make it, and anonymous comments are allowed.

Poll #18972

This poll is anonymous.
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: Just the Poll Creator, participants: 27

When a woman places her child up for adoption rather than raising the child herself, how is that predominantly viewed in your culture (not necessarily by you)?

Good! This is an excellent thing to do if she felt unable to raise the child herself.
11 (40.7%)

Neutral, neither good nor bad.
6 (22.2%)

Bad. She should have raised the child.
3 (11.1%)

Adoption is extremely rare or nonexistent in my culture.
2 (7.4%)

Other, which I may choose to elaborate on in the comments.
5 (18.5%)

Comments

[sage]

I just realized that I've never known anyone who gave up their kid for adoption, even the teenage mothers I knew back in the 80s. OTOH, I have known LOTS of people who were adopted and several people who adopted kids. In one case, they were fosters who adopted (a tween white girl who'd been kept in a fosters dorm and never actually parented and an infant latino boy who was born addicted). Another was a single black woman who fostered-then-adopted a black baby girl who'd been removed from her birth mother's custody. And the wealthy couple spent a lot of money adopting healthy babies (two white infant boys and one infant girl from Colombia).

Multiracial families are really common in Texas, incidentally.

As far as stigma, back in the early 80s, one of my dad's coworkers confided in him that his teenage kids had been adopted...and swore him to secrecy. I don't know why the culture of shame existed in the first place, but I'm glad it's dissipated.

[kindkit]

I wonder if the birth parents of adopted kids just don't tell people? Not necessarily for reasons of stigma--"I gave birth to a child who was then adopted" seems to me like at least a couple of levels more intimate than "I have two kids that I adopted from China" as a friendly topic of conversation--but not necessarily unconnected with stigma either.

I'm glad that the practice of not telling kids that they're adopted, or not telling them until they're teenagers/young adults seems to be disappearing, anyway.