and now, a poll

[kindkit]

Following on from my previous post, because now I'm beginning to wonder if what I think is my culture's view of adoption and birth mothers is not actually the case. The poll is as anonymous as I can make it, and anonymous comments are allowed.

Poll #18972

This poll is anonymous.
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: Just the Poll Creator, participants: 27

When a woman places her child up for adoption rather than raising the child herself, how is that predominantly viewed in your culture (not necessarily by you)?

Good! This is an excellent thing to do if she felt unable to raise the child herself.
11 (40.7%)

Neutral, neither good nor bad.
6 (22.2%)

Bad. She should have raised the child.
3 (11.1%)

Adoption is extremely rare or nonexistent in my culture.
2 (7.4%)

Other, which I may choose to elaborate on in the comments.
5 (18.5%)

Comments

[genarti]

I don't think I've known anyone closely who gave a baby up for adoption, or if I do it's not something we've discussed, though I know numerous people who were adopted (including three of my siblings and several cousins.) That said, I would say somewhere between good and neutral -- that it's a good thing to do if the birth mother couldn't raise the child herself, to let childless parents have a kid and let the kid grow up in a loving home, but also that it's sad (or, some would doubtless say, her fault) that she was in such a situation and had to make that call.

(US, for the record: white, having grown up in the Midwest and New England and lived in New England thereafter until very recently.)

[kindkit]

The overall sense I'm getting is that in the US, there's less tendency to blame the birth mother if she chooses adoption. But on the other hand, most other western countries have less stigmatizing attitudes towards abortion, easier access to abortion, and better financial and social support for parents who are young and/or single and/or poor. So there's a sort of trade-off, with some inequity and ugliness on both sides. (I think the non-US situation is better overall, but I also don't think anyone should be blamed for being unready, unable, or unwilling to raise a child.)