kindkit: A late-Victorian futuristic zeppelin. (Airship)
[personal profile] kindkit
I haven't done a poll in ages, so here's one based on my recent experience of bailing out on hosting a Buffy rewatch and potluck evening. Partly I bailed for good reasons (e.g. heat and lack of air conditioning), but partly because the thought of having people--people I like!--in my living space was making me miserable with dread and anxiety.

I think if my apartment was divisible into private and public spaces, I might feel somewhat differently. But I live in a studio. People would see my sleeping area and they'd have to go through it to get to the bathroom. Hmmm. I also might feel differently if my job didn't involve dealing with people all the damn time, so that my home is very much an introvert's refuge.

Anyway, I'm curious about other people's views.


This poll is anonymous.
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: Just the Poll Creator, participants: 25

How do you feel about having guests (short-term, not overnight) in your house/apartment?

I love it!
2 (8.0%)

I enjoy it.
8 (32.0%)

It's okay.
4 (16.0%)

I don't really like it.
7 (28.0%)

Arrrrgh, no, this is my space, go away!
4 (16.0%)

Date: 2017-07-08 02:56 am (UTC)
the_rck: (Default)
From: [personal profile] the_rck
For me, it varies wildly. If I'm physically exhausted (yea for unpredictable physical issues), I can't deal with it except by kind of shutting down until people leave. When I'm feeling well, I really, really enjoy having people over and did even when I lived in a studio apartment, but it's entirely dependent on how I feel.

I'm agoraphobic, so I can't just go out in search of social interactions when I'm feeling physically well.

For all of those personality tests that identify extroversion/introversion, how I rate depends heavily on whether they ask what I do or what I want to do.

Date: 2017-07-08 03:31 am (UTC)
genarti: Small orange kitten hiding under open newspaper. ([misc] cut the world down to size)
From: [personal profile] genarti
I'd have a much, much harder time in a studio apartment, for the record. I've never lived in a place that didn't have a living room space except for in university dorms.

Given that: it depends a lot. With people who aren't super close friends, it can be fun, for a defined time after which people are going to leave again, but I want to have that timeframe clearly mentally set aside; it's going to be fun but it's going to be draining, and I need to know when I can expect to be able to be alone and flop and decompress. With very close friends, I'm much more willing to have it be loosely defined. This can extend to a mixed group of very close and some less close friends, too, if I can trust that a) I don't have to do all the social entertaining and hosting because my close friends will help keep things going, and b) those same close friends will be able to tell when enough's enough, and will help wind the party down. In a situation where I was the only host and didn't have any trusted sort of deputy hosts, I'd be a lot more hesitant to host and a lot more drained at the end of it.

...Also it depends on whether I know these people are sort of sloppy housekeepers or good enough friends to not judge some mess, or if I feel that I have to tidy everything to achieve a sufficient facade of adulthood.

Date: 2017-07-08 05:06 am (UTC)
lilacsigil: 12 Apostles rocks, text "Rock On" (12 Apostles)
From: [personal profile] lilacsigil
Even though I enjoy having the occasional visitor, I still get very anxious beforehand, and people showing up without warning is horrible. Fortunately, I live a long way away from friends and family, so it's not very often that guests are here.

Date: 2017-07-08 06:09 am (UTC)
malnpudl: (Default)
From: [personal profile] malnpudl
Even though I enjoy having the occasional visitor, I still get very anxious beforehand

Yes. This. Me, too.

And SO VERY MUCH this:

people showing up without warning is horrible

OMG DON'T DO THAT. DON'T EVER DO THAT.

Date: 2017-07-08 06:14 am (UTC)
malnpudl: (Default)
From: [personal profile] malnpudl
I have powerful mixed feelings. I really do enjoy it, once it's happening. But the anticipation is very uncomfortable; my house-keeping is minimal at best, and at times certain things get away from me. Getting the public areas of the house into even minimally acceptable condition is really stressful, and makes me both anxious and cranky as all get out. But then people come, and it's all worth it, and I immediately get wistful about when I can do it again.

In your situation, with no clear boundaries or visual/physical barriers between public and private space, it would be considerably more stressful, I think.

Date: 2017-07-08 07:47 am (UTC)
el_staplador: (Default)
From: [personal profile] el_staplador
I like the company, but the 'spare room' is my study, so I lose my bolthole when we have people staying, and boy do I miss it.

Date: 2017-07-08 11:38 am (UTC)
lilliburlero: robert burbage as m'turk, text 'deep calling to deep' (deep)
From: [personal profile] lilliburlero
My 'okay' suggests an equanimity I don't really feel: I enjoy it when people are actually there, but I get wound up beforehand and take a long time to recover afterwards. Ireland lags behind other countries when it comes to home entertaining; it's much more common than when I arrived, but the pub's primacy as a place to socialise dies hard, which suits me.

Date: 2017-07-08 10:54 pm (UTC)
mrs260: Brown eagle perched on a log in front of a lake after diving for fish (Default)
From: [personal profile] mrs260
Some factors for me not liking it include a tiny space (400 sq ft) and inadequate furniture for entertaining. (1 comfy chair, 1 office chair, no table.) I'm also a messy person and I'd have to clean before letting anyone into my lair.

Date: 2017-07-09 05:16 am (UTC)
vilakins: Vila with stars superimposed (Default)
From: [personal profile] vilakins
I enjoy the company if they're friends and not 1) my annoying and critical sister or 2) a friend's argumentative and arrogant partner, but I don't enjoy sharing the space, not being able to relax and have my introvert me time. We're both introverts and pretty much feel the same way.

Date: 2017-07-09 09:25 pm (UTC)
malnpudl: (Default)
From: [personal profile] malnpudl
My thoroughly extroverted cousin loves entertaining in her home, but even she had to create a boundary "Rule of Eight":

1 guest: 8 day maximum stay
2 guests: 4 days
4 guests: 2 days
8 guests: Dinner party

She says it's the only way to do it and remain sane (at least for her).

Date: 2017-07-09 10:23 pm (UTC)
magnetic_pole: (Default)
From: [personal profile] magnetic_pole
Fun poll! Like others here, I wasn't able to convey my ambivalence properly. :) My partner is very social and loves entertaining, so we have people over fairly often. I'm introverted and anxious enough that I dread it slightly every time, though I always enjoy it once the guests arrive. So "I enjoy it" = three parts "I love it!" plus one part "Arrrgh, no, this is my space, go away!"

On a related note: It's much easier to have folks over in a larger apartment (our one-bedroom vs. previous studios). I empathize! M.

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kindkit: A late-Victorian futuristic zeppelin. (Default)
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